My first Indian Muslim wedding

29-05.
Well, I thought I would have something very interesting to tell you all. Last weekend I was invited to attend a wedding of the sun of Shanoo’s unce in Chandrapur. Indian weddings, for what I had heard, can be quite different and interesting, compared to a Dutch wedding. I must say, I was a little disappointed.

This Muslim wedding was from Friday till Monday. The first 2 days are for family to arrive and meet. The neighbours will leave for a few days, so all relatives have somewhere to sleep. The last preparations for the big day have to be made and much food and music is available, as long as there is no power cut. Also the mehndies are drawn on the hands of the women who like that. These are drawings with red henna and are made on your hand and arm by a friend. If, after an hour or so, the henna starts to brake your hand will have a nice red/brown pattern on it. The deeper the red colour the better, because they believe that a deep red colour means that you have and receive a lot of love. (White people most of the times will get a deeper red colour, so…J)

The 3rd day is the day of the wedding ceremony. This was held in Balarshah,, what meant that most of the relatives and friends were put up somewhere near the mosque in Balarshah for the night. The ones that lived close came the next morning.

Before the ceremony at 10.30 the groom was dressed. A long white coat/dress down to his ankles, a 5 meter fabric draped around his head, 11 kilo’s of white flowers hung around his shoulders and chest and the finishing touch, a curtain of white flowers and slingers (what looked like x-mas decorations) was tied in front of his face, so he couldn’t see. Then it was time for family and friends to, one by one, wish him all the best and put some money on a tray. The groom then was taken to the car by his father and uncles and from there on it took another 30-45 minutes to get to the mosque, which was around the corner, because every 10 meters there was a stand still so the men (and some women) could dance on very loud music.
At the mosque women and children had to wait in a separate room until the wedding ceremony got to an end and bride and groom where married. Even the mother has to witness the ceremony from the separate room. After the ceremony it was time for dinner and then go home. (Every meal is called dinner, this was lunch)

One of the things I noticed is that most of the Muslim women don’t cover their head. Some women only cover their head when praying or greeting each other and there were only a few women, who were dressed all in black with only their eyes visible.

The last day was dinner, organised by the groom’s father. This was supposed to be a big thing and everyone was expected to look their best. For the men that meant suit or new jeans and blouse. For the women that meant new saari, salwar suit or other tailor-made dress, a lot of make-up, many bangles and their own wedding jewellery plus that of their mother or grandmother.

This dinner was supposed to end with dancing, but thunder, lightning and rain decided different and most guests went for dinner and then straight home. Oh well, the bride and groom have something to look back on. I don’t think there are many Indian couples who have a foreigner on the pictures in their wedding album.